Whether you’re finally taking the plunge after years together or you’re two blissful months into a new thing, but you’re not trying to pay rent for a room you never see, moving in with your partner is a huge step. It means you’re sharing a whole lot: space, furniture, and a side of yourself that very few people see (and you like it that way). You know the one. The one that sometimes sneaks out of bed at 3 a.m. to zombie-eat Cheez-Its on the couch.
Sharing your life is hard work. It’s like saying Hey, let’s see what it’s like to live as a family. And like living with your actual family, things get weird and real, fast. But if you and your partner both do the work, you get to come home every day to a family you’re building together. If that sounds cheesy, it’s because it is. It’s special and warm and gooey and beautiful. Get over it.
But, you know. It’s also like this:
1. You look back on the days you shared an apartment with three roommates and a cat as “living alone.”
Nothing beats the feeling of having your own room. Except for maybe the feeling of sharing a room with someone you love, and occasionally having that someone go out of town so you can jump on the bed.
2. Everybody poops—and nobody cares!
No more pretending that your roommate blew up the bathroom. The upside? You’re both grown-ass adults! With juvenile senses of humor!
3. Spooning is for special occasions.
For all other nights, there’s starfish.
4. Still want to get down with yr bad self? You may have to get creative.
Even if cohabitation means you’re getting it on the regular, there’s just no substitute for solo sexy times. (And maybe the fact that it’s a little tougher to catch some alone time makes it all the hotter.)
5. Sometimes your partner asks you weird stuff, like if you know where his pants are. And you know he means not one pair, but all of his pants.
And you do. They’re folded in a pile with the other clean laundry, next to the dresser. Because you know things like this now.
6. Sometimes arguments over chores are just arguments over chores. Sometimes they’re a metaphor.
It’s a cliche, but it’s true: There are just more mundane things to argue about when you live together. Sometimes the little arguments get folded in with the bigger ones. You’ll both occasionally make a mountain out of a mountain of dishes.
7. No more secrets.
Is it snooping if you share literally everything?
8. Space: the final frontier.
Needing space from time to time is just human. When you need time alone, it’s helpful to keep communication open and free of judgment. A need for space isn’t a rejection—it’s a commitment you and your partner are making to bring your best selves to the relationship.
9. Sometimes it’s the best. Like when he sets out a pair of his sweatpants for you to sleep in later.
10. Dating is intimate, but living together is intimate.
Living with a partner is an adventure. It’s goofy and gross. It’s totally boring. It’s full of surprises. It’s humbling and screwed-up and fun. It’s telling the person you love the most that you’re ready to show them your weirdest self, and that you can’t wait to see theirs. And in the end, what’s more romantic than that?